Short Fiction

Stories that won’t waste your entire day.

Click a title, get a story. Easy, right?

A Letter of Apology to the Leprechaun • [VIDEO VERSION]

So You Wanna Buy a Robot? [VIDEO VERSION]

When I Flipped Off the UFO

When I Went Screaming, Naked, into the Night [VIDEO VERSION]

Some Crabby Talk about Hermits

My Argument with the Chicken

A Conversation with My Cellmate on My Last Day in Prison

A Conversation with a Bird about Birds

Don’t Visit a Cardiologist for Affairs of the Heart

That Fucking Snowman

When I Went Screaming, Naked, into the Night

My Last Cigarette

Tree Wishes

So You Wanna Buy a Robot?

On Discovering the Love of My Life in the Middle of the Long Island Expressway

The Devil and Ice Cream Sandwiches

Upon Running into My Twin at the Well

The Ongoing Thoughts of a Senator on the Day They Stabbed Caesar

The Leopard in the HOV Lane

The Day I Brought a Gun to a Knife Fight

Shoelaces

I Had to Cut Off My Arms Today

When Grandma Attacked Me with a Knife for the Third and Final Time

On Discussing whether I Plan to Write a Story about Our Relationship

No One Told Me I Had a Time Machine!

Can You Please Return My Legs, Jerry?

Initial Thoughts as My House Burned to the Ground

My Aborted Crucifixion

Things I Said During Sex with Colonel Sanders that One Time in 1964

Existential Phone Call

The (Hand) Job

On Trying to Convince My Host Not to Eat Me

My Trip to Hell

The Day I Learned to Fly and Then Visited My Ex-Girlfriend

Treadmill

Some Questions for My Roommate about Celery

The Riddle of the Riddle the Sphinx

THE INNERMOST THOUGHTS OF THE SECURITY GUARD AT THE TOURNEAU WATCH STORE AT THE WALT WHITMAN MALL IN HUNTINGTON, NEW YORK, ON MAY 16, 2017

BreadDeath

On Trying to Choke My Good Friend to Death

My Mom and the Moon

My Greatest Foe

[Untitled story I wrote on a Post-It]

Eros, My Washing Machine

Near-Life Experience

The Job

The Hunter

Probing Issues

The Three People I Would Kill

Some Last Thoughts

SURPRISE!

When I Realized I Either Was, or Was Turning into, a Robot

I Hired a Prostitute Not to Have Sex with Her

Thank You for Not Murdering Me!

Death by Typist

Giving Tuesday

A World Without Rollercoasters

My Response

The Day I Decided to Cut Off My Arm